Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Can you list every album you have ever listened to?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

If you caught a shoplifter at your yard sale, how would you handle it?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Can I know a love story of a medical student?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are your thoughts about Hulk Hogan at the Republican National Convention in support of Trump and ripping his shirt off? Did he exaggerate?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why are daughters mean to their mothers?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Should India conduct another air strike to attack Pakistan over the Pahalgam attack?

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

How many trans people are lawful gun owners?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Is there a specific time frame for therapists to tell their clients they are wrong?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Does Donald Trump have low self-esteem?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

I see through liars

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What are some interests in sharing pictures of wives?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t